What’s the one comment that would crush you if it landed on your social post, ad, or stage talk? That thing you secretly fear someone will say about you?
In this episode, Kylie pulls back the curtain on her own worst-case scenario – being called arrogant and harmful – and shares what happened when those exact words showed up in the middle of her ROAR Live launch.
You’ll hear:
- Why your biggest fear is actually the clue to your deepest visibility block
- The difference between defensiveness, discernment, and integrity check-ins
- How childhood conditioning (good girl, don’t shine too bright, don’t upset anyone) still shapes your voice today
- Why entrepreneurship is the ultimate self-development crucible (and how to survive it)
- The choice between letting your scared inner good girl drive the bus vs. letting your wild, unapologetic woman lead
If criticism has ever made you shrink, shut down, or want to burn your business to the ground — this episode is your reminder that those fears aren’t the truth of who you are.
If this episode fired something up inside you, come join me for ROAR. Three days. $33. A firestarter for rebels, disruptors + paradigm shifters who are done with good-girl rules and ready to burn down their visibility blocks.
📅 September 23–25 (replays included). 🎟️
👉 Wanna join ROAR Live (Sept 23–25, $33) and change the way you see your visibility forever? Join ROAR: The Voice + Visibility Activation for Disruptors, Rebels + Revolutionaries → Grab your seat here.
S6E2: The Worst Thing They Could Say About You (and What It Reveals About Your Visibility)
[00:00:00] Welcome to Wild and finally fucking Free the show for disruptors, rebels, and revolutionaries who know they're here to change the damn world. I'm Kylie Patchett, your voice and visibility catalyst, and here we dive into unapologetic truth, magnetic messaging and visibility. That actually feels good. In your body, your bones, and your business.
We share the stories of the out of the box, neuro sparkly, creative, witchy, wild ones, rewriting how we live, love, learn, and lead. This isn't about being louder, it's about being rooted, resonant, and regulated, so you can be real raw and ready to raw. If you're done, contorting yourself to fit the mold and you're ready to own your voice, your power, and your place in the revolution, welcome home.
Let's dive in.
[00:01:00] Hello there friends. Welcome back to the podcast. It's Kylie here today. I'm gonna ask you a question 'cause I just had something that is like my worst fear, visibility wise happen to me in the middle of the Royal Live launch. So my question to you is, what is the worst thing that people can say about you?
So if you put yourself out there, if you were on stage or you posted on social media, or you said something in a live group where you had a client with you and you said something, and their reaction was to think that worst case scenario. So for me, mine is twofold. Number one, she's so arrogant and number two.
She's doing or saying something that's either like incorrect or harmful or like lacking in integrity right now. Whatever your answer is to those questions, that is a clue to one of your biggest [00:02:00] visibility blocks. So if you take mine for example. The arrogance thing comes from that.
I definitely was told a lot as a kid, don't shine so much. Don't be so loud. Don't stand up so far above the crowd, but also I got a fair bit of kind of unsaid feedback to say, when you find something easy. Which I found at school pretty easy academically. If you find something easy, you need to keep quiet about it because you don't want you finding something easy to feel ick for anyone else.
Right. And so you can see where that like arrogance, like they're too big for your boots or being showy or, .
Somehow saying I'm above someone or I know more or can do more or have more, or whatever. So that is one of mine. And then the [00:03:00] second one with the harmful or out of integrity is just, I don't know, like I have always had a very, very strong like conscience, right? And I think that that comes from.
Being a kid who grew up in a household where she was responsible for a parent's mental health and emotional wellbeing, you learn to not speak your needs out loud. And I think that's left me with. A very strong policer, so a very strong policer that's always kind of observing what I'm saying and doing to make sure that I am not going to trigger anybody that I'm not like lying about anything.
But it also creates, and it's kind of like it creates its own fear. In me. It also created two worlds, an internal world where I was thinking and feeling and experiencing things, and then an external world where I absolutely was not safe to express my needs, wants, [00:04:00] desires, opinions. And so I've got this like almost two versions of me.
Now, I've come a long way with that, but I wanna tell you a story about something that just happened to me in the middle of this launch and. I just want to reiterate, particularly when you're a paradigm shifter, you are always on the edge. Of the expansion that you're inviting people into. So I am talking about voice and visibility, activation.
I'm talking about being unapologetic in your truth. And I think sometimes when I say unapologetic, people maybe misinterpret me to be like, you need to be loud. You need to be very out there and like wild with your truth. No, that's not what I mean. What I mean by unapologetic is that you can speak your mind, your truth, what your needs are.
What your boundaries are without apology. So without actually dimming or squashing them to keep someone else feeling good. Now, if you're a conditioned good girl, that comes with a lot of ick [00:05:00] feeling.
So I'm using Facebook ads on Instagram ads, to. Drive traffic to a sales page and sales page is for ROAR Live, . And I had another person who teaches voice activation comment on one of my ads. And the words that she used were, um, you and your toxic positivity are as harmful as fuck.
Feel that in your body. Whew. I think that it is very normal to feel like that shrinking feeling, and that's definitely what I did.
I read that comment and I was like, whoa, okay. First of all, I got that first defensive like. What the fuck? Defensiveness is such a good, armor, right? But then of course you get underneath the defensiveness and then I started to go, whoa, okay, A, I've triggered someone.
B, where can I look at and review and make sure that my own [00:06:00] marketing, my own messaging, my own medicine delivery is in integrity? , I am, very unapologetically myself, particularly with perimenopause, I'm like, I have no fucks to give and I don't really care whether you like me or not.
And I can say that. And also I can still have a very normal and very human reaction when someone actually says, Hey, you're doing something harmful. First the defense and then the, oh my God, have I done something wrong? Do I need to actually look at this? Okay, I'm, and so I would love to say, when we are talking about visibility, and you're coming up against a block that you have, and again, the key question here is, what's the worst thing someone can say about you?
So arrogance and integrity, what comes up? Integrity. So. The reason why I found this really tricky when I first saw the comment was that underpinning everything that I teach in all of the spaces I hold with clients, when it comes down to it, I'm always talking about people [00:07:00] owning the actual magic that they deliver, right?
The bridge. What, where are the clients now? Where are they after they work with you? What is the bridge that connects those two people? And for me, that bridge underneath. The strategy underneath the voice and visibility activation underneath the energetic capacity. Underneath all the self devotion tools that I give people is safety.
Because we cannot heal, we cannot transform. We cannot trust ourselves to own our unapologetic truth if we do not have. Communities, sisterhoods spaces where we are safe to actually try on these new ways of being, , these new ways of being unapologetic for size. And so underpinning everything that I offer is safety.
And so for someone to use, particularly the words harmful, I was like, whoa. Okay. So my process with this was to look at the ad. To really filter it through. Okay. Yeah. I'm gonna put [00:08:00] my, like Sherlock Holmes , magnifying glass on and really feel into this is any of the language that I've used, out of integrity, not a complete capture of what I do now.
The thing about advertising is you only have a certain amount of characters, and the job of the ad is to get attention. To get people to a sales page. And the sales page, of course, has many, many more characters and visual elements and a video and all these other things to really give the full picture of what royal life is.
It's, it's so funny because one of the things that I really, really labored on with this. Offer is, do I stick with the pop art style of images that I've always used in my business? I quite like retro styling. I've got retro earrings on at the moment.
I quite often will tend towards that, but when I first came up with these anti entrepreneurs, so the visibility blocks, the fear frame archetypes, there were seven of them, and I used very. Typical sixties and seventies retro styled images. [00:09:00] Now what I'm uncomfortable with those, um, around is that they very much have a Stepford wives.
Like perfect house housewife kind of vibe. And I was like, okay. So I'm teaching a voice of visibility activation with the key messaging that the Good Girl gag is actually one of the biggest problems in visibility for women entrepreneurs. But I've got images that are actually using stylized perfected women, and so I made a conscious decision to actually create.
Popup styled images. So the ad was a collection of these popup style images. And the reason I went with popup is I didn't wanna use actual people. I wanted to make it clear that these are archetypes, right? They're representations of ways that we can be conditioned.
They're not real people. I'm not at all saying you need to be in a perfect little frilly apron with the perfect beehive and the perfect whatever that was in some of the other pictures. [00:10:00] And so. I wonder whether somehow the visual image has contributed to this. I don't know I, who am I to assign meaning to this person's comments?
Anyway, the second thing that I did was I did look at the copy and one line in particular, which is silencing is self erasure, was something that did hit me as, okay, that is not the fullness of my message because. And this is the point that the person was trying to make. So it, I'm grateful for her, for giving feedback.
I don't love the way it was delivered, but I'm grateful for her delivering feedback. And when I looked at the that key phrase anyone who has gone through any traumatic event and is silencing because of that, because of having real nervous system dysregulation stuck in their system. To say to them, just start using your voice and silencing is self erasure, is victim shaming.
And she has a point. She does have a point. [00:11:00] So what I did was I made the ad copy more complete and I checked in with myself, I felt into my body, like I'm always using my body as a, as a tool. And I was like, what part of my physical reaction at the moment is the good girl? Part of me going, oh my God, someone thinks I've done something wrong, or that I'm doing something out of integrity. And what part of it actually feels true for me?
For me, the sovereign woman who's running a business, who is absolutely grounded in safety and integrity. So I share this story just. To show you that, number one, you're always gonna be on the expansion that you are actually inviting clients to.
I mean, really, let's be honest. Entrepreneurship. Self-employment is the biggest self-development crucible that you will ever find. You put yourself out there, you are gonna find every single version of yourself that is not comfortable creating money, serving others, sharing your gifts [00:12:00] with the world, speaking about yourself, asking for a sale, all of those things.
So as a paradigm shifter, you're always gonna come up against your own expansion. Number two, if your answer to this question, what is the worst thing that someone can say about you happened? How would you cope? How would you react? Would you have. The capacity to stay in your body and to stay with yourself and your own felt sense around where you could tighten up your word.
Is there anywhere in the, your business at the moment that you are out of alignment with what your true value system is and what your true depth of understanding is, or are you. Polishing off the edges. ' When we speak out on social media, particularly in ads where you've got a limited amount of characters, you are going to be seen by more people.
And that does mean that statistically speaking, you may indeed come up against [00:13:00] people that don't agree with what you have to say. Or people that poo poo what you have to say or whatever, or call out what you have to say that is par for the course. So if that makes you feel like physically sick in your body, or if someone saying the worst thing about you makes you feel physically sick in your body, then you probably better get your bum into ROAR Live because this is exactly what we're working on.
So thank you for listening to my Little Story. I hope that you're enjoying these shorter snack size episodes. And if you do feel like no matter how much strategy you try on for size in your business, no matter what coach you work with, no matter what magic pill solution that you find that you still end up feeling like you're up against these ceilings of like.
Self-sabotage or procrastination, or if something like that had happened to you, would you go into a free state? Would you not be able to speak for another three months? Would you ghost your list and disappear from their newsletter land like some people would [00:14:00] do? What would be your physical response?
And just to remind you that this, these conditioned responses, they're not the truth of who you are. Right? They're not the truth of who you are. Yes, we need to own them. Yes. We need to be impeccable with their word.
And we need to make sure that when we are speaking, that we are speaking from the wild woman driving the business bus and not from the scared little parts of us. 'cause if my scared little girl. Who still wants to be loved and still wants to be approved of, and still wants to be doing the right thing and not doing, anything that would make anyone feel a little bit ick towards her.
If she was driving the business bus, here's what I reckon she would've done. She would've stopped the ads. She would've closed the sales page, and she would've canceled the launch. And I say that because I have had times in my business, particularly the first business [00:15:00] that I had between 2011 and 2017, where I actually have done that.
That is me saying if you have voice and visibility things going on in the background, please do register for ROAR Live. It is three days, 23 to 25th of September 9:00 AM Australian Eastern Standard Time. All the information is on the sales page. The design of this program is to make sure that women like you, who are paradigm shifters, who are here to change the world, are actually free to use their voice.
To share their message and their medicine and to get the heck on with actually shifting the paradigms. 'cause we cannot create new, if those of us that have been conditioned by the old paradigms are not doing the work to dissolve and alchemize what we've been taught is the right way to be so that we are free to actually share.
And create the new pathways of how we live and love and learn and lead. So from me [00:16:00] to you, big, big, big love, I'll put the information about rural life down below. I hope you'll join me to Lou until next time.
Thanks for tuning in to another episode. If this episode lit a fire in your body, in your business, deep down in your bones, please take a moment to drop a rating and review. So more rebels just like you can find us. And don't keep this goodness to yourself. Share it with your disruptive, rebel, and revolutionary friends who are ready to roar right alongside of you.
Until next time, stay wild, stay unapologetic, and stay fucking free.
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